Is it a fantasy or do you by all means go for it?

I was at a party last night and met this friend of mine that does a little reading here on the blog, and she said to me, Tell me, I did not understand , what is this blog ? Is it a fantasy? Or do you by all means go for it?

So we by all means go for it. And in this place of “by all means go for it”, although it sounds like a very clear spot, there is a lot of free space. It is not a static spot. It is allegedly. I mean either we go for it or we don’t. And if we do, then… what? Then there we have that spot. Spot of “We’re going for it.” It is a different spot than “we fantasize about it”, and we certainly are in it. So, that’s about it? Isn’t it?
Well, it’s not. It is impossible not to feel the constant movement there, all the time. For example, the movement that occurs between “work like I’m here forever” and “what is the point to start this new project if in a year we’re not here.” And there are moments when I think, I should fight the Brits as if there is no war (= promote projects at work like I’m here to stay forever) and fight alongside with the Brits if there were no White Book (= promote only things that are relevant for the coming year)* . Or is it vice versa? Oh well, whatever, never mind. At other moments, I tend more towards one direction and at others moments I tend to the opposite.
The One is busy balancing our monthly budget at this very moment and he is not as busy as I am with this movement, not swinging like a see-saw and generally, comparing to my manic depression, is very balanced. Right, darling? Are you swaying alone there without my notice, or what.. ? (When he translates this post to English, he will come to me to the shower, or just raise his head from his laptop and say something about it. I wonder what that thing would be. If it will be interesting you’ll hear about it).
When he translated the previous post, or the one before, he came to me in the shower and said, you know, it is very interesting to me to translate you. Then I realized that where there is a movement, there is a dialogue. It’s another layer of communication between us which is cool.
Another place with a movement of the genre we’re talking about is – births. In a few months, whoever gets pregnant, I will probably not be able to support her on her birth. And I have a friend that, you know, no pressure, but in a year from now baby… we are out of here. It would be wise of you to get pregnant soon, if you know what I mean.

So that’s it, I opened this morning with a picture of her Whatsapp message –

Seven in the morning, a pregnancy test stick, two stripes. Positive! Her expected birth date is July. Cancer. Congrats baby!
Will this be the last birth I’ll support here, one part of me asks.
I have no answers but some other part of me is happy. So happy.

* Based on a famous quote by David Ben-Gurion, first PM of Israel, said during the WW2 after British government published new laws against immigration of refugee Jews to Palestine in a document called The White Book.