Yesterday I did something big. Did I say big ? Huge is more like it. Huge? I am talking of a true emancipation. The liberation of a woman from her own shackles and from being dependent on someone who will “do it for me”. Yep, bitches, are you sitting? Then here’s one: I fixed both my eyebrows and my upper-lip all by myself. Let me repeat it: I’ve fixed my own personal eyebrows and upper-lip! And it did not end up with the “surprised” look at all! And we’re talking about, well, me, a woman who was addicted to her personal beauty lady in super-duper levels. Every two weeks I reported at her place, and if you would have seen the text messages I used to send her in case she was unavailable to me on the phone, you would anxiously point out to yourself that it’s too bad I quit taking pills.
Call it obsession, call it borderline personality disorder, but when my eyebrows aren’t organized I have no peace of mind. I become nervous with each passing day, and if it comes out during the PMS (and think of it a moment – once a month it does come out during the PMS !!!) then too bad for all. Too bad? Disastrous is more like it.
Also, I really do not like it that all the time Mustafa gets anywhere I go just a few seconds before me. No, I am not pleased with it. Mustafa by the way is my mustache and although it is nice and soft to touch, it absolutely has no place in this narrow world I live in. As much as I explore the depths of my soul, I just do not find a place for it. It is either him or me. And I, with all due respect, am bigger.
So once every two weeks back home I used to report at Adidush and she used to ruthlessly separate me from Mustafa, excellently fix my eyebrows, mutter at me “you’re absolutely gorgeous” and send me on my way with the peace of mind that it is going to last exactly two weeks.
Now imagine this obsessive woman in East Asia. That’s what I call extreme sports! Diving? Annapurna trekking? Nine hours ride on a dirt road in a bus that horns every ten seconds and Cambodian karaoke soundtrack ? Bitches, pleeaseee.
So what does one need to know about upper-lip/eyebrows hair removal in Southeast Asia? So far I have only been to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, so probably some more exciting discoveries are about to be revealed later in the journey, but in the meantime:
In cities and tourist areas there are often places where you can do eyebrows and places where you can do your upper-lip, but it’s often not the same place. In Koh Tao I had my eyebrows done at the hairdresser’s, but she does not do upper-lip so she sent me to a massage parlor (we’ll talk more about that too, don’t worry) that also does wax (will soon talk about wax too). In Kanchanaburi I could not find any place that “do eyebrows” does not actually mean “tattoo eyebrows” or, alternatively, hold on tight, “shave eyebrows”. Yes, it seems that they fix eyebrows by shaving them so never close your eyes before making sure exactly what’s going to happen to them in a second.
However in Khao San, Bangkok, I found a great place where I did upper-lip and eyebrows and it was really terrific and cost me 120 baht which is about 3 dollars.
Then we arrived in Cambodia and thank god I did not need it yet because I do not think I would have found a normal place. And perhaps it’s a wrong observation, just because I didn’t really need it, because if I did need it I’d be ripping the entire country on a scooter until I found one, I guess.
And then we got to Saigon. We had everything in our small alley – massages, waxes, mani-pedi (soon!), and somehow I did not do anything there so no reporting from Saigon. We will have to return there.
In the meantime, here in Mui Ne, we’re not in a central location, and we don’t have a scooter, only bicycle. Now guess what I’m more – obsessed or lazy ..? Correct. Lazy. And so I found myself yesterday removing hair from my upper-lip with wax strips that I bought at home in case of emergency, and from my eyebrows with tweezers and tiny scissors we bought on the street in Saigon from one of those sellers who attacks you waving in your face fans and all those other kinds of rubbish for sale (the scissors are very sharp! It’s the type that trims hairs from the nose, of men…) remembering what Adidush always says – “It is better to do a little less than a bit too much” (mind you, that’s a good advice life), and “Here I’m not touching you, we’re letting it grow!” and of course the hit “wow, absolutely stunning.”
And it worked. Did I say worked ? I went out of the shower shining, as if I just conquered Everest while doing a natural childbirth.
The One, in my opinion, did not even notice any difference with my eyebrows-upper-lip, but somehow he sensed that a colossal event has just occurred, so he immediately started pouring out compliments upon me and did not interfere when I moved on immediately to work on something really important – send pictures to all my friends on WhatsApp and Facebook, to share it. Because you know, if it was not published – it was not done.
And I did not yet say a word about the sense of independence, liberation, about how much I I don’t like the feeling of being dependent on something external to happen, about how nervous this dependency makes me. Now that I know that I can also do it by myself when the going gets tough my entire personality towered to a completely new level.
So to sum up: You can usually find it, pay attention not to shave your eyebrows, if you found a place you like do not leave it without doing eyebrows and, of course, don’t leave home without tweezers and wax strips for emergencies, because rest assured – they will happen.
Now to the next beauty features, because every obsession has sub-obsession and sub-sub-obsession and one’s sub-obsession is her sister’s main obsession, and I’m here to help us all.
Manicure-Pedicure. Well then, they do mani-pedi in Southeast Asia at least as much if not more than at home and it is available just anywhere. So relax at once. Anyone who did mani-pedi in New York with one of those Asian ladies should know by now that they are the best of bests. There are two things I want you to know that will save you disappointment. One – be sure you don’t get “vintage” style. They have some tendency to do it here. You know, cut a little too deep, round instead of square nails, all kinds of “vintage” things. Be assertive, hand gestures can explain everything, and if that doesn’t work simply draw it on paper!
Secondly, in the East sidewalks are quite rare. It implies that you might discover sand on your fresh pedi which can be rather annoying and we are not here to get upset, so always insist to have pedi first and let it dry, and only then do the mani. Don’t do Mani? Why not?? You should! I told you that it’s available everywhere, so do not be afraid to get stuck with cracked nail polish. In most places there is also gel polish of all types, all of course at ridiculous prices.
Wax. This too can be found anywhere. You will find particularly high concentrations of these in tourist places of course. But I didn’t do wax here. Now ask why? Aha! That’s because I prepared myself for it at home, and a year (!!!) before we took off I started a process of permanent hair removal. Highly recommend.
Facials. Haven’t tried it yet but I saw there are plenty of those, usually in mani-pedi or massage parlours. Usually it means all kinds of scrubs and masks. There is no such thing like “beautician” here as we have in Israel, who fits you what’s best for your skin needs. Instead you have to choose between “face scrub”, “face mask” or any other combination of the options offered. You can also take one of those combination deals of two treatments together, and hope for the best. What could possibly go wrong?
A little tip about face creams and other cosmetics, ask your beautician (I have three at home, each one doing her specialty) for samples of all kinds – cleanser, moisturizer, eye cream, foot cream and other stuff. It’s compact, it’s convenient, you can easily pack it and it provides you a backup if you run out of regular cream or if you have not passed the barrier of the compromise of taking that simple face wash from the local supermarket, a barrier that I personally recommend to go through, especially if overall you have good genetics to be thankful to.
And last one for today – massages. Well it’s obvious that in Thailand they are to be found anywhere and cheaply. About 8$ per treatment. In Cambodia and Vietnam there is also no problem to find massages and there are all kinds of “specials” such as “massage by blind”, and various aloe massages. In Thailand I did Thai massages in Koh Tao (Thai massage is usually the least expensive option in the price list, there are places with oil massage that will usually cost double the price and in some places will cost the same price. No rules about it.) and once in Prachuap Khiri Khan with The One (for half the price of Koh Tao, which means we both did an hour massage for the same price in the amazingly touristic Koh Tao). We had foot massage for the entire family in Siem Reap, Cambodia (the kids loved it!) and here in Vietnam I might do something as well when the right muse lays down upon me.
There is only one thing with all these massages. At home in Israel I used to do massages quite often, because I had a lot of stress to relax from. Wow, when I remember the stress levels in our lives back then the horror creeps up my spine. But here, bottom line, what do I have to relax from? What do I have to let go of? Everything’s calm, pleasant, relaxed and happy. So here’s the paradox of the Orient. It is cheap here, it is available here, but it’s not really necessary here. Ha!
and to the results
